Forgive and Forget

 

Proverbs 17:9 says, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” In other words, when we decide to forgive our husband for a wrong that he did we are showing love to him and creating an atmosphere for love in our marriage. When we choose to remind ourselves and our husband over and over about the wrong we start to build a wall that destroys the oneness that we should have with our husband. When we continue to repeat the offense in our minds or conversation we are keeping ourselves stuck in a hurtful event and keeping our marriage from moving forward in the way that God designed.

In Experiencing God Day by Day, Henry and Richard Blackaby write, “Bitterness has a tenacious way of taking root deep within the soul and resisting all efforts to weed it out…Time, rather than diminishing the hurt, only seems to sharpen the pain… You find yourself rehearsing the offense over and over again, each time driving the root of bitterness deeper within your soul… Bitterness is easy to justify. You can get so used to a bitter heart that you are even comfortable with it, but it will destroy you. Only God is fully aware of its destructive potential.” When we should be offering forgiveness but instead are repeating the offense in our heart and mind over and over again we will become bitter. This includes repeating the offense to our friends or sisters or mom. I think so many women like to share the things that their husband does wrong as a way of nursing their hurts and getting others to feel sorry for them. This is not what we are called to as women following after God.

We are called to forgive as God forgives. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Think about that for a minute. If God has forgiven us and removed our sin “as far as the east is from the west” then he is not sitting and thinking about what we did wrong anymore. He isn’t talking to others about it. He isn’t feeling sorry for himself that we committed such a great wrong against him and he did nothing to deserve it. He has removed it from his mind and moved on in our relationship. He has restored us to right standing in his sight. I challenge you to think if you are extending the same level of grace to your husband that God has extended to you. If not, take that step and see where God will take your marriage.