What is the Right Age for Marriage?

I was thinking about this yesterday. When I got married I was 19 and my husband was 23. We had "dated" since I was 14. I was actually not allowed to date until I was 16 so we became "boyfriend and girlfriend" when I was 14 but we only really saw each other at school, church, or with our families around. I could not ride in the car with him until my 16th birthday and by that time he was 19! I was so frustrated by that at the time, but now 15 years later (and with 3 daughters of my own) I understand my parents reasons.

When we got married I heard a lot of comments about how we were so young to be getting married. My mom was engaged when she was still in high school to my dad so there wasn't much she could say that I was going to listen to. It had worked out for them.

I can't say that our marriage has been perfect. We have faced a LOT of struggles. Some from my husband and a lot from me. There were several months a few years ago when we weren't sure that our marriage was going to make it. But with the help of God, family, some good Christian counseling, and a lot of study on God and marriage, we have turned things around.

I can see some areas that had we been older when we had met and married might have been easier, but even with the struggles that we have been through I can honestly say that I don't think there is a magic age for marriage. The quality of a marriage and chance of a marriage surviving have nothing to do with the age of the couple getting married. But I do think it has everything to do with maturity and hard work.

I wish that every person who commented about me being "young to get married" would have instead spent that few seconds giving me guidance or a piece of advice or recommendation. We attended premarital counseling at our church, but looking back it was mainly talking about budgeting and who was going to complete what household duties. There was a little about communication, but overall not much help. And once we were married the counseling stopped and our meetings with our mentor couple that we had been assigned were finished.

I wish that I could go back and instead of spending so much time planning my wedding, I would have spent that time planning and working on my coming marriage! I would recommend to any woman getting married or who is already married the following books :

• Becoming the Woman of His Dreams By Sharon Jaynes
• The 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman
• Sheet Music By Kevin Leman

I wish that there was an older married woman that I had found as a mentor. It wasn't until a few years ago that I found the verse Titus 2:4-5

"Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

The success or happiness of a marriage is not determined by age, it is determined by the work and time that is invested into it. A 19 year old willing to invest time and energy into creating a successful marriage can end up with a much more successful marriage then a 50 year old getting married with unrealistic expectations.